He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
