i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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