Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think my vagina is haunted
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
