I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
