Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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