I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
