I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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