I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize