Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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