Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize