so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
