I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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