I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
