It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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