So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
