jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
