Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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