I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
