It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just gift wrapped bread.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
