just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize