I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
