it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
