Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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