seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
