I hate your face
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
