When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize