Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize