would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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