That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
