So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize