We won't sleep together?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize