Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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