my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize