Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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