White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
