And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
