I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
