Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
