Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize