I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
