dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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