Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
