You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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