Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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