i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Come on in and take your pants off
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