Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
