seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
