Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
