Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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