She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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