Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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