On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
