WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize