feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
