at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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