He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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