Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
