summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize