so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
