It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
