i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
