his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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