I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
