Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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