i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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