State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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