Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
