make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize