Do you still have your period?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
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