I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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