dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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