i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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