i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sober January is a disaster.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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